NBA Referee Hotline Bling: Devin Harris Sounds Nasal

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Dear Mr. Green,

We examined the game tape, and video evidence does suggest that Mr. Harden pinched you before you punched him in the arm. And while we do not condone this violent act, we also feel like this is progress for you since you didn’t use your feet at all!

Mr. Green, we think of you as a bizarro version of a soccer player. Soccer players are forbidden to use their hands to control the ball; you’re forbidden to use your feet against an opponent’s balls. We have a zero tolerance policy for you when it comes to kicking: No free kicks, corner kicks, roundhouse kicks or bicycle kicks. You’re not allowed to eat Kix for breakfast. You may only play snare, never a kick drum. You can’t listen to INXS songs “Need You Tonight” nor “Never Tear Us Apart” because they’re on the album “Kick.” And if you ever become addicted to heroin, you must continue using until the end of your career, because you are not allowed to kick. Ever.

We’d like to see you work on cutting down on punching next, whether it’s a superstar’s injured wrist or the air after a foul call angers you. In the case of a pinch specifically, NBA rules specify that you cannot punch, but you may retaliate with a wet willy, noogie, flat tire, wedgie or, in the last two minutes of each quarter, a Hertz Doughnut. No Indian burns, because that term is racist. In addition, we are assessing a one-game dapping suspension. You may only shake hands or high-five teammates, but never pound it out.

As far as Mr. Harden goes, we will be watching his pinching more closely. It appears to be something he learned from a former partner in crime, either Dwight Howard or Khloe Kardashian. Regardless, his claim that we was celebrating “Canadian St. Patrick’s Day” and you weren’t wearing green is simply ludicrous.

Knuckling down, NBA Referee Hotline 

America vs. NBA Referee Hotline

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Source : http://www.yardbarker.com/nba/articles/nba_referee_hotline_bling_devin_harris_sounds_pretty_nasal/s1_13132_23633404

NBA Referee Hotline Bling: Devin Harris sounds nasal
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