How To Quickly Pay The Bills

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If you have any kind of income, any at all, the easiest way to save a few hundred dollars—and I mean crazy easy, is simply not to spend it. It requires you to do absolutely nothing. I learned lots of things while earning my PhD, but one absolute take-away is long, drawn-out life of glorious privation. It is freedom itself.

My wife and I saved 15k toward an adoption over 2 years while pulling down graduate stipends. Most recently we shocked ourselves after a two-month hike (it was a kind of work, so my wife was being paid) by coming home to more money in the bank than if we had stayed home. Somehow simply not being in the usual spending routines broke some habits that had slipped away as we exited our PhD programs.

Perhaps I’m a freak, but I find not spending money almost as thrilling as spending it. There are others who would get all active, but I’d rather go passive. Call it a kind of financial hibernation.

There’s no end of money-saving advice, and it’s all good and very long term. But here’s a few that will put you into the right frame of mind for the temporary state or torpor:

1. Eat your pantry bare. I bet there’s two weeks to a month of food in there. And if you add a bit of green matter, you’ll be no less healthy for it (well, I haven’t see your larder). This is probably at least $100 here, perhaps more.

2. Don’t go out to eat. And the corollary: plan for when you will be out and still be hungry or thirsty. Most people do not eat out because the food tastes better, they eat out for the convenience. Coffee at home: $0.10. Coffee at Starbucks $1.80. Nothing more to say.

3. Wash your zip-lock bags: If you’re earning lawyer salaries, this is stupid. But even if you are, washing your bags will reinforce that every thing you bring home from the store is less money for the future. If you can’t stand it after a month, well you’ve saved $5.

4. Don’t upgrade anything. We all have that stray spoon, that outdated stereo, the cludgy cell phone. Well, keep them, and save what you would have otherwise spent to match your image to some marketing board’s goals. Congratulations, you’re thinking for yourself!

These will do for the short term, and you’ll easily have $100 and perhaps much more after 30 days. Then you’ll be prompted to do some arithmetic, which will get you thinking in years and decades. Holy crap, I’m a millionaire!

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